Chopped Black Butler Edition
by Homicidalstrawberryjam
Summary: GRELL RAPES HIS LITTLE SEBAS. NICE.
1. Chapter 1

Three Chefs

Three courses of food

Only one chance to win…

The challenge: Create an unforgettable feast from the mystery items hidden in these baskets, before time runs out.

Our distinguished judges will critique their work, and one by one they will have to face the dreaded chopping block.

Who will win the ten thousand dollar prize… and who will be CHOPPED?

I-your wonderful and flamboyant host Grell Sutcliff, will see you next time on this amazing adventure called- CHOPPED! BLACK BUTLER EDITION!

"That's a wrap people! Time to call it a day." A proficient, orderly looking man with spectacles shouted at his *ahem lovely cast.

Flashes of red passed by the man's glasses before an ear splitting screech could be shouted in his general direction.

"OH WILL! How do you think I did? WAIT-Don't tell me. AMAZING! WONDERFUL!

STUPEND-"

"Satisfactory, Grell." The man cut in "Please tone it down tomorrow. We don't want our viewers to get turned off by your um…enthusiastic personality."

"YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT!" the redhead said with a toothy grin. "Don't worry there's more of this enthusiasm where it came from honey!"

A blown kiss and a scowl in return later, the exhausted director collapsed face first with his bed.

He wondered to himself if this torture would ever pay off.

* * *

**THE NEXT DAY**

"Three DEADLY sexy-"

"CUT! Use another word please."

Pout.

"Three RAVISHING chefs-"

"STOP! Inappropriate Grell!"

"Ugh fine!"

"Four _talented_ chefs all think they've got what it takes to win this fierce competition. But who exactly are they? Lets meet our competitors."

The man? Hmm…no IT walked over to the first contestant. Said participant was dressed in green pants and top accompanied by a purple robe. The man was wearing a head-wrap the same color as his snow-white hair, which set off his bright kind looking eyes. In addition, he had a mysterious looking bandage wrapped around his right hand.

"Meet our first man, Agni. He has traveled here all the way from India to participate in our challenge! So, what is your reason for joining us? The fame, fortune, or maybe the title of being an excellent chef?"

"I came here to represent my god and prince. Prince Soma, the twenty-third son of the king, wants to use the resources of the prize to set up an orphanage for the abandoned children of his country. e He He is my master and I will do everything it takes to win for him." The servant looked straight towards the camera so the viewers could see his tear filled eyes.

"Oh, what a compassionate man! And do you specialize in anything in particular?"

"Curry, of course." The man said, smiling.

"There you have it! Now on to our next victi- uh…partaker in this match!"

"MMMM….next up is Sebas-chan Michaelis! He is representing the… Phanomhive household, is it? As a butler? Well besides catching the eyes of EVERY lady here, (you could hear a facepalm somewhere behind the scenes) why are you at this place?"

A tall and slender young man raised a gloved hand to his chest and bowed slightly. His wispy black hairs fell in front of red eyes and almost hid a devious smirk.

"What you said is correct. I am here to fulfill my duties as the Phantomhive butler and to honor the family name." The gentleman replied politely

"Oh, I see. So no other ulterior motives? No SOCIAL purposes?" the cherry-colored man batted his eyelashes and leaned towards the now frowning butler. "I am free you know…."

"Halt! Forgive me sir, but our host is quite straightforward. GRELL. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR PERSONAL ENDEVORS FOR A LATER TIME." The astute director walked away.

"Start from asking about his specializations…"

Grell crossed his arms and growled "Fine."

"So Bassy, are you good at anything in particular?" the man asked in a flirtatious manner.

This received him a weary glance and a scowl. "Well, I can do whatever the judges ask of me…if I couldn't do that and win for the sake of my master, what kind of-"

"-butler would he be?"

Crimson pools clashed with golden gems and instantly the atmosphere was so tense that gravity stopped working and Hanna's boobs suddenly did not sag halfway down her torso anymore.

"uh…well…hmmm…that brings us to our next contestant C-Claude Faustus. He is here for the Trancy house. Anything to say Claude?" the host asked, nervous from the uptight feeling.

"Bitter into sweet, bland into flavorful, and sustenance into art…That's what makes a Trancy chef." The strange man adjusted his bifocals, his mouth a thin unemotional line.

"Well now that you have met all the rivals, you had better choose your favorite, (god knows he has) because next time one of these charming men will be eliminated!"

"SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON CHOPPED! BLACK BUTLER EDITION!"

* * *

After the cast meeting, Grell went off to search for his new interest, not knowing that that man was currently in front of the building staring straight into the eyes of another.

"I WILL win for my young master." Sebastian calmly explained.

"Funny, I must do the same for mine." Claude replied coldly.

"We shall see about that, Faustus."

"Quite, Michelis."

Unbeknownst to them, Will was standing on the side of the structure filming their 'private' conversation.

"Well", the director chuckled to himself; "Maybe I'll get good ratings after all…."


	2. Chapter 2

MORNING

"Please! Just come in once more, and if you still are not comfortable then you'll be on your merry way"

William was currently begging the receiving end of his cell phone, Sebastian to show up for filming today. This was unlikely, he knew, because a flaming creature currently was still employed at the set.

"_Well, fine. I'll be there soon. But if one red hair is out of place, I will be forced to resign. As I have explained before, I represent the Phantomhive name, and if Grell is seen hanging around me it isn't the best for our reputation."_

"Thank you! Thank you! I assure you that he will behave professionally." Will felt like he was discussing his five year old's performance at school with a distressed teacher.

"_I do hope so." _Beep. Beep. Beep.

The director rushed down the busy streets in order to arrive at the studio early so he could have a nice chat with his host. And there he was- in the middle of a walkway striking poses like he own the whole city. The distressed man pulled the other towards him harshly, ready to get this conversation over with.

"GRELL. We need to talk."

"OHH WILLIE…On your way to work as well? How delightful meeting you here! Might I say you are looking fiery today?"

"No you may not. Nor may you call me _Willie. _This is serious_,_ please listen carefully! Your reputation as a host possibly will be at stake."

"Oh why? WHY? Tell me! I can't take the suspense!" The redhead danced around while chewing on his nails with inhumanly sharp teeth.

"You know what happened yesterday…." The director suppressed a shudder.

FLASHBACK

"We shall see about that Faustus"

"Quite, Michealis."

Cue the entrance of Grell Sutcliff panting and heaving, clearly exhausted from sprinting around the building, his determination to find his beloved unwavering.

"THERE YOU ARE SEBAS-CHAN! I've been looking all around and now I've found you at last!" The sweaty and thrilled host threw himself at the shocked butler only to be kicked in the face a split-second later.

"Ugh…You are vulgar! Release me!"

"What do you MEAN? We are obviously destined to be together! Love at first sight! Quick Bassy! EMBRACE YOUR FEELINGS! And me!"

Will cursed silently to himself from behind his hiding spot. "Damn you Grell must you ruin everything?"

Soon a red and black blob was lying on the pavement quivering and shaking in pain.

"It is clear that you are a vile and repulsive being. Please never attempt to touch me again." The black clad man started to walk away only to be slowed down by a weak cry saying-

"You will soon realize that we are soul mates! You can't escape! Neveeerrr….."

END OF FLASHBACK

"We cannot allow that to happen again OKAY?"

"Oh don't you worry about that, he wont be able to reject this- (motioning towards his person) twice, my charms will eventually sway his thoughts." The man said with a creepy grin.

"Ugh no Grell! Hmm…" William face palmed and thought to himself- HOW CAN I MAKE HIM STOP THIS HARRASSMENT?

"GRELL. I have a confession."

"Yes Willie?"

"Ummm….well…The reason I want you to stop trying to get is that…"

William put on the cutest face imaginable for a man of his stature. His eyes widened and glimmered with fresh tears as he beamed into the green eyes of the host.

"I'm extremely jealous."

"WHAT? Oh Will! I am so joyful right now I could kill someone! Sebas-chan and I would just be a one time thing but we could last forever!"

Grell hooked arms with his companion, and snuggled close.

Will thought to himself "Temporary hell, temporary hell, temporary hell"

And put on the best fake smile he could muster.

"Come on Grell, we don't want to be late and miss one second of the exciting day!"


End file.
